Rita's Fete.

Transitions come only when there is a complete letting go of what is, what exists, what we want and what may exist. It is the moment between moment. A pure space in time. Often times we want change. We want a change in our relationships, our careers, our finances, our status or just simply other peoples' behavior about us or around us. We want to make that transition.

My Great Aunt Rita died yesterday at the ripe old age of eighty something. She was the last surviving sibling of my Grandmother Stella, Clementine, May and Cecil. She was the baby. The last one to go. I wanted to say something profound and life affirming but I could not come up anything because I realized she would only laugh and steups that away with "girl hush nah", because she was simply my Aunt Rita who lived life like there was no tomorrow.

She loved to party. Boy did she love to party. I remember as a child when she would visit my Grandmother's house, she was always on her way to a party. She was as black as midnight and as beautiful, dressed to the nines with a sultry whiskey

voice. When you heard it call Stella from the front yard and the laugh, big and bright as the sun you went running out to meet her because it was time to what?!!!...... Party!!!!

Rita at 76 in Tobago.

I remember on my last trip to Trinidad years ago sitting on the verandah or at the beach in Tobago, swimming in the ocean, drinking beers, playing gin listening to her tell the stories of her life, my family's life with a cigarette in hand. She'd told me how she buried her first husband who as he bent to tie his shoelace on his way to work dropped dead in her bedroom leaving her with three small children to care for. Many years later her second died of cancer after raising those children into adults with pride like his own. And to hear the new dish that at the ripe old age of 76, she was seeing a retired judge, her much older new boyfriend who she saw when she felt like it and if he wasn't getting on her nerves would get some. " I ain't dead yet" laughing that booming Rita laugh. Her hard times and her loss was real. She was real, But it wasn't a badge of honor she wore as a shroud it was in the laugh lines and the wrinkles on her face. It was in her love of living, her independence and in the pure joy when she danced to Soca music and the willingness to have companionship at near 80. Whenever she wanted to go somewhere she did it, when she wanted to leave she did it. When I think of her I think of all the transitions in her life. And that's who I want to be, I want to be like her when I grow up.

Now she's made new travel plans . And though we have lost the life of another party ("wine girl wine") and we'll miss the dirty jokes and the words of no nonsense comfort we are filled with joy and wonder because she has made another transition in true Rita style, she knew when to leave before the party got stale. She didn't take her house, her whiskey, her cigarettes or her pain of what could have or should have been. She was all about letting go because you can't enjoy the dance if you don't let go.

Today my aunt Rita taught me another lesson and that has been the lesson of her life: let go. Stop dragging things behind you, you cannot make transitions with things on your back, you cannot make transitions to a new life if you cannot forgive, if you cannot grieve and let go, if you cannot laugh and be in the moment. You'll miss the moment. What will come will come and trust it will be good. It's carnival time now in Trinidad and my Aunt Rita loved carnival, she would often make trips to the parade all by her self and just enjoy the creativity, music and wonder of the day. She needed no company because by the end of the day she would always have a new band of friends. This is the first carnival she will not be a part of and I believe she knew it was time to go, it was time for a new party, her time at this fete was done.

#inspirational #lifstyle #DianneKRamirez #bloggingwriters